


Love Hopes All Things

by forgetmenotjimmy



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Gen, Love, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Religion, s07e15: Bombshells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 20:09:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17189576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetmenotjimmy/pseuds/forgetmenotjimmy
Summary: Religion, Family and Love.Cuddy and Chase talk whilst she’s waiting for her biopsy."If I have not love, I am nothing."





	Love Hopes All Things

“Love hopes all things.” That particular passage in First Corinthians had been the first thing which had popped into his head when House had asked – read: ordered – him to sit with Cuddy whilst she was waiting.

“Read from the Bible or something.” He’d called as he’d limped out of the lab where Chase had been working. “Oh and give her some antibiotics.” Shaking his head, Chase had complied. Even from the outside, it was obvious that the bitter, pain-ridden doctor did love his girlfriend. Through his actions, his consideration, tone and body language when around her or thinking of her, Chase could see love there. It had surprised him at first. He’d known that House had been in relationships before; as acrimonious as he and Stacy had seemed to Chase, there must have been some sweetness to keep them from rubbing each other raw long ago. So he must be capable of love and caring. Chase knew that he was. The sharpest of blades were used for protection after all.

_And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge... but have not love..._

However, he was afraid of the cost of love; afraid of grief and mourning and pain. This avoidance of a life-threatening diagnosis couldn’t be a sign of anything else. His distraction and denial of his distraction so obvious and also heart-breaking in a way. It hurt Chase to look at him, so frail in a way he’d rarely seen him before. From all his years with House, Chase couldn’t imagine the man overcoming the fear; he’d kicked the drugs yes, but this was different. This was an even more vulnerable part of him that was in danger of being shredded. Experience told him that House would raise the drawbridge and barricade the doors. Retreat behind stone walls, hurling missiles and pouring tar on potential invaders. Still, Cuddy knew him better than Chase did. Perhaps she was right. Raising an eyebrow, she challenged him dryly.

“You think I’m fooling myself?” There was no point in trying to lie when she already knew the answer.

“Yes.” She didn’t look surprised – or impressed. Remembering that she was his boss, he added. “But that doesn’t mean that I’m right.” They sat in silence for a while, Cuddy getting on with her work, Chase flipping disinterestedly through the magazine.

 _Love_ _endures all things._

Suddenly, Cuddy asked.

“Your mother died when you were young, right?” Her tone was wavering, uncertainty and fear corrupting a usually solid voice. Suspecting he knew where this was going, Chase bit back his instinctual retort and instead hummed noncommittedly. Cuddy persisted. “But you’re a successful doctor and-”

“Cuddy. Maybe wait for the results before you even think about that.” But her motherly concern was still evident on her face. Taking pity on her, he reached into his mind and dug out that priestly persona he used sometimes at the bedsides of the dying. “If the worse does happen: she’ll still have the rest of your family, your sister, your mum. She won’t lose her family.” Keeping his voice light and posture casual from years of practice, he shared his own experience. “Her life will suck, some parts will get easier, some never will. She’ll be more vulnerable in some ways but stronger in others.” He told himself it didn’t hurt as he considered Rachel’s good fortune. He told himself that he wasn’t jealous of a four-year-old. “But no matter what happens, she will never be alone.” Cuddy’s eyes widened. “She will always be loved.” Mouth open and eyes watering, she stared at him. He stared back, hoping she didn’t see the twinge in his heart as he considered the lonely years of his own childhood. She swallowed and he could see the gratitude on her face. As well as the reluctance to voice it.

The door opened and Dr Scott came out.

“Cuddy, you’re up.” She started, and nodded awkwardly. Dr Scott ducked out again and Cuddy took a moment to smooth over her hair. Chase saluted.

“Good luck.” Smiling absently, she rose and slipped into the room. Alone, he put the magazine back and went back to work.

 ...

_When I was a child, I spoke like a child…When I became a man, I gave up childish ways._

Many people likened House to a spoiled child. He made little effort with social niceties, preferred playing games to working, manipulating situations to suit himself and avoiding responsibility at all costs. Having no idea what he was like a child, Chase could only assume that he’d devolved, gotten more selfish and petty as he’d suffered through life’s challenges.

It was something Chase could relate to. Allison had often complained about his boyish tastes in music and clothes, not to mention his initial disinterest in homemaking in general. So he dressed like a teenager on weekends, couldn’t cook anything more complicated than macaroni, didn’t wash up immediately after eating and left piles of clothes everywhere; thousands of men did the same. He certainly didn’t think that he was worse than the next man. Anyway, the griping was never too serious. Definitely not enough for him to explain his own amateur psychologist theory of his desire to reclaim a lost childhood.

He hadn’t had a nanny since the time he could tie his own shoelaces, not even when his sister had still been in diapers and their mother unable to dress herself from the booze or withdrawal or depression: his father’s claim of only being a phone call away proven a lie time and time again. As a child, Robert had been the adult in the family, cooking and cleaning and looking after his dependant family members. It hadn’t been until his mother had become brain dead from suffocating on her own vomit did his burdens lift enough for him to be able to experience teenager hood like everyone else. Naturally, he’d gone off the rails and ended up having to put himself back together at the seminary.

As his and Allison’s relationship had gone on and his love for her had deepened, the desire to start a family kick-started his more responsible habits. Choosing a place to live together, pretending to care about furnishings, even researching schools and day care centres: they had been embarking on a whole new life together. He was finally being an adult, about to be responsible for a family – this time at the right age. Part of him had been thankful for his knowledge of how to change a diaper and calm a teething toddler. Then the whole marriage had blown up and he’d been branded ‘evil’ and ‘broken’. He slid back into old habits: depression transforming his apartment right back to a typical bachelor pad and loneliness pushing him to convenience meals rather than bother to cook the dishes she’d taught him how to make. Except this time, he had photos stuffed in a box and technicolour dreams at night.

So Chase understood House’s fear of loss, understood it far too well. He knew what it was to have people you love ripped from you, leaving nothing but a gaping hole which all your self-loathing couldn’t fill. But he also knew that life without love was no life at all.

_If I have not love, I am nothing._

One day he might find someone else. One day he might love someone as much as he loved her. It was hard to imagine but not impossible. In a way he was lucky.

Despite years of pain and hardship, the teachings in his childhood – being raised on the lap of God – still stayed with him. He knew objectively the likelihood of a benevolent being watching over them was minuscule, but still he believed. God was in his blood and there was no cure for it. It made coming to terms with his crimes, his flaws a human being harder to deal with. If he hadn’t been going to Hell before, he definitely was now.

For all that though, as much as he agreed that there was much suffering in the world and all the flaws in humanity, the hope for better, the hope for redemption never left him. So yes, in a way he was lucky to have that unshakeable, foundational faith rooting him; stopping him from being dragged under and drowned by life’s miseries. Despite his dire predictions for his own immortal soul, part of him still believed that Jesus loved him and would be willing to have mercy on him. He just had to be the best self that he could, he just had to find someone to love; someone who could love him.

After all…

_Love never ends._

**Author's Note:**

> Just because I loved that scene. Wilson tells House to comfort Cuddy and he sends Chase, which says a lot about him. Also, we see Cuddy and Chase interacting which is a very rare occurrence.  
> All quotes are paraphrased from: 1 Corinthians 13 English Standard Version (ESV) and all mistakes are mine.


End file.
